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Life Lesson

Inner Conversation



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Another year closes. What were you goals, what were your resolutions? Did you fulfill them? Will this year just like all other years in your life or did something change? What do you feel when you look at how you spent the year? Years come and go. Time passes. If you achieved your goals last year, great, go after new and higher goals. Tomorrow should leave you better than yesterday. If you did not attain the expected goals, don’t stop trying…a new year, a new opportunity is set before you so you can do it right. The years offer us pages to write the story of our life. There will be ups and downs, but like every story there will be a hero and that’s you. As you celebrate a new year, irrespective of what you are feeling, save enough hope for 2016…hope will make a difference….


Communication is the key

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Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural home town and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today. I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round.
As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother"..Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling..Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people’s habit; slowly you will get use to it". Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever i come home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it..
Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it." There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest. As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.
From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again. One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me.... I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"
After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house.During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please. In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work. That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me..After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.
The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes... I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it.We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs.
For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life. Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor."
The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day? At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?
Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket. That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.The next day, I did not go to work..
I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital." I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My God, how could this happen?Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people.
That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her... I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if.... In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.
Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart. One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging me.. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. ! eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me. That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other.
He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff.. I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination, My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.
One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine. As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?" Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other.
Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated. Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart,
I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet... This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him.Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore.It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year
One late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did? He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his....
I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment. Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral."I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home,
I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me. Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son
"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now....I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion ... Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most...." From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.
Hubby has also written a letter for me:
"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby.... My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me... These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... "
Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face.... A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever...." Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our originals intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, everything became too late."...... ...
This is a true story. LEARNING POINT - DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO OFFENSES!!! I am totally speechless, this story brought tears to my eyes as I read through each line eager to know what would happen next. It truly showed the devastating power of grudges and anger! Simple humility and communication would have resolved most of the problems in that story, as well as patience..... This story has really touched my heart and life as a whole and it has stimulated a paradigm shift. Though it is very sad, it is also very refreshing to know that from today, I can consciously start to live a life free of grudge..People please let's live a life devoid of grudge. Communication is the key, Take greatest and live on. share this to change someones life
From Prince Owusu Banahene Sarkodie


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No matter how strong we are or believe ourselves to be, we are most times unavoidably faced with the desire to quit. Most time when we feel something we used to love isn’t as perfect anymore or isn’t winning anymore, we often find it easier to drop it and walk away. The real questions are;
-was winning ever about finishing first?
-was winning about getting a pat on the shoulder, a trophy or a medal?
-was winning about getting rich?
-was winning about getting your face in a magazine?
You may never finish first. You wouldn’t get a pat on the back all the time. You might not earn medals or trophies…So you are just going to toss in the towel and leave because it isn’t perfect. Would you just give up on a marriage or friendship because that person is not perfect anymore? Would you bury that dream because it easy as easy as you wanted it to be? If it was all about perfection, finishing first and getting a trophy; you lost before you even started. Let me introduce you to winning;
-Winning is finishing
-Winning is pulling yourself to cross that finish line even when you body tells you, you can’t
-Winning is knowing that no matter what storm came, no matter what anyone said or did, no matter what was thrown at you, you kept running and you finished.
What is that dream you have? What is that project you are passionate about? It may not be perfect yet, you may feel alone and unsupported on your venture, but I challenge you to finish. Trust me there is no feeling greater than that which you have when you know you defied every obstacle to get to where you are at. Sugar cane is sweetest at the joint, the joint is the hardest part to chew and yet the sweetest. Take your eyes off other runners and focus on your race…there will always be an urge to quit, but don’t. Sometimes you will have to lose to win again…You may slip many time…Come what , run to finish…Finish your race…that will make you a winner…Be an inspiration to someone, show them you finished even with a broken limb. It was never about finishing first…winning was about finishing…finish on your goals, dreams, education, and everything you set out to accomplish…that’s true winning…


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-Two kids grow in the same house; one becomes an armed robber and the other a Lawyer.
-Two kids raised in the slums, one turns to drugs, another becomes an entrepreneur.
-Two leaders of a developing country, one a visionary and another corrupted
-Two university graduate, one turns to scamming and another scouts endlessly for opportunities…
Why would people granted equal resources by life end up with different outcomes? What is the distance between good and evil…? The answer is simple, we have the power of choice…we have to choose. Young Africans must realize that there are consequences to their choices. It is often easier to play the blame game or follow the wrong crowd under the guise of one’s circumstances. Our leaders have failed us by making poor choices, why should we fail ourselves by making even poorer choices. Someone at some point has to be accountable and take responsibility.
Young Africans today will lead tomorrow. What choices will you make? Will you follow the madding crowd and cover up with excuses? Or will you brave the odds and chose the torturous path to a remarkable end? There are no trophies for excuses, but there are rewards for formidable choices. I challenge young Cameroonians in these hard times to make good choices. In a scanty job market, you could choose to be an entrepreneur, you could choose to develop yourself into a leader and motivator, you could choose to be an agent of change. Do not embrace the beer bottle, scamming, prostitution or armed robbery. Choices have consequences. In times like this we the youths who have been failed by our government, have to come together and help ourselves. We have to take up the task of facilitating the change we desire. We have to challenge ourselves; study, learn from others, set realistic visions and goals. Our dreams lies within the boundaries of our choices, so we must choose wisely.


Die Dey Big compound

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It was about 7pm in Bamenda. The sun had gone to bed, making room for the cold night to come in. “Weleelee eh! I don die oh! Die don meetop me! Wemeh!” A woman was screaming. The scream was coming from a compound in Foncha Street Nkwen. Everyone wondered what could be causing this woman to scream like this. Persons in this neighborhood who had settled in for the evening ran out to see what was happening. The commotion was finally traced to Mama Fuh’s compound. A crowd had soon gathered there waiting to find out what had happened. It was a bolt from the blue when the onlookers saw four gentlemen carry the lifeless body of a young man into the yard. Mama Fuh kept rushing from behind trying to touch her son’s body, but she was inhibited by a group of women. It wasn’t long before others joined in wailing.
“Fuh oh! Why? My pikin why? Why you leave me so? Weh weh weh?” Mama Fuh shouted as she wept.
The bystanders just watched forlornly. The big question on everyone’s mind was how a young, smart, handsome fellow like Fuh ended like this. Was Fuh sick? Did someone kill him? What took Fuh’s life away?
It was 15TH August 2009. Fuh Godlove rose at 4:00am. Though he had gone to bed at 1:00am that night, he woke refreshed and ready to face the challenging day ahead. He swiftly pressed his shirt and pair of trousers, before taking his bath. Once he was dressed, he said his prayers and went to eat the breakfast Mama Fuh his mother had prepared for him. Today was the day his life would change forever. Fuh had put in much preparation for this day, and finally it was here. Today Fuh was going to be one of the candidates who would be taking the ENSET entrance examination. The Higher Teachers Training College Bambili was launching the technical section (ENSET) for the first time this year.
After graduating from the University of Buea in 2004, Fuh’s degree in physics could not earn him a job. In order to cater for himself, his brothers and his mother, Fuh decided to go into computer programming. He was really good at it, but it did not pay him a lot. After advice from a friend, Fuh decided to try the entrance exam into ENSET Douala. Thrice in a row, Fuh attempted the exam and failed. Being a determined young man, he decided to try again in 2009. He dropped everything he had to do for a full year in order to devote his time and energy to studying for the exam. He had successfully written the entrance exam into ENSET Douala and today, he planned to conquer ENSET Bamenda.
Fuh was one of the first students to arrive at the ENS campus. He immediately walked to the room where the Mechanical engineering students were to take their exams. He was pleased to see other fellows who had also taken the entrance exam in Douala with him. Landry, Mbape, Babila and Etondi had all taken the exam at Douala.
“How prepared are you?” Babila asked Fuh.
“My brother I have done my part, the rest is for God. I am certain I must make the exam this year. I haven’t prepared for any exam in my life like I have done for this one.” Fuh said confidently.
“My brother I don’t think preparation has anything to do with this exam. We both know what goes on in these concours. You want to be sure to make it, you need a God Father. You will have to drop something.” Babila said.
“What do you mean by that? Are suggesting buying an entry into ENSET?” Fuh asked utterly dismayed.
“You sound like a kid. Yes I am saying to get in; you have to buy the exam. This is Cameroon my brother. It is a system of who knows who. Look around you. The vast majority of candidates writing this exam with us are francophone. These guys own this country. My cousin knows a guy who can buy a space for me. If you are interested, I will connect you. There are only three spaces so you will have to act fast.” Babila said.
“This is what is destroying this country. I am a principled person. I don’t think I can consent to such.” Fuh said resolutely.
“Suit yourself. I was once like you my friend. Never say never.” Babila said. Babila then went to get a beer from the canteen. Fuh took a seat and tried to get his mind set for the exam.
At exactly 8:30am the invigilator walked into the exam hall with the test papers. After checking the student’s identity cards, he stated the instructions for the exam. The exam for mechanical engineering was divided into two parts. The first part consisted of Further Mathematics and the second part Physics and Mechanical Math. Each part was three hours long. The first part was to last from 9:00am to 12noon and the second part from 1pm to 3pm. The invigilator then distributed the test papers. Each test paper had two sections; one in French for students who studied under the French system and one in English for students of the English system.
Once the invigilator said start, the candidates immediately turned their question papers. Some like Fuh, smiled when they saw the questions. Others however looked confused. About an hour into the exam, some students were scratching their heads and others were actually sweating. The hall which had been cold that morning had gradually grown hot. A girl at the front actually had to rush out in order to throw up. A guy at the back just folded his paper and slept off. All the candidates were actually relieved when the 3hours was over. The candidates were to take a 30minutes break before the second part of the examination. Fuh decided to get some air outside. He went out and took a seat beside a young lady on the corridor.
“I am Fuh and you.” Fuh introduced himself with a smile.
“I am Prisca.” The young lady said dreamily.
“How was the exam?” He asked the young lady.
“It was horrible. I barely knew what was on the paper. I was told this was supposed to be Further Mathematics, but it was different from what I was taught in high school.” Prisca replied.
“It is always that way the first time. I can tell you studied under the Anglophone system. It’s sad, but this exam seems to be set by Lecturers of the French system. The syllabus is quite different. I happened to answer the questions well because I spent a year studying with both the French and English system syllabus.” Fuh said.
“Good for you. I actually intended to go for biology, but my father advised me to go for mechanical engineering. He says few girls go for subjects like this, so I could easily get in on the basis of gender balance.” Prisca stated. The two went on to talk about their school experiences, other exams they had written and their expectations from the exam they were taking today. It wasn’t long before they were called back in for the second part of the examination.
The invigilator gave the instructions again, and then shared out the papers. This time around, all the candidates were bewildered when they turned their exam papers.
“I said it since, this people will find a way to block us Anglophones from passing this exam at all course.” One of the candidates by name Ambe cried out.
“Young man stop disturbing or I will have to send you out. If you have a problem let me know.” The invigilator blurted angrily.
“Sir both sections of the questions are in the French language.” The Anglophone students echoed in chorus. The invigilator got a paper from one of the students and studied it carefully. He then made a call. The students watched his expression carefully hoping for a positive respond. When the invigilator got off the phone, he was silent for a while. He then cleared his throat and said, “Sorry nothing can be done about it at this point. You will have to figure that out on your own.” Fuh who had composed himself this far burst into tears. A number of the Anglophone candidates just stormed out angrily. Fuh had no choice. He just could not give up now. He decided to try his best in making sense of the questions. One of the Francophone candidates then signaled the invigilator.
“Sir we francophone didn’t do physics. What we did was mechanical math. We were informed what we would write in this section was Mechanical math. How come only physics is on this paper?” The candidate asked. The invigilator had no idea what to do. He had been told nothing could be done about the test paper at the moment. He felt guilty staring at the helpless faces before him.
“In short do whatever you can to make it.” He said and walked to take his seat. Immediately, everyone went crazy. The candidates move from seat to seat trying to make sense of the questions and also to get answers. Fuh was at this point totally disgusted with what was happening. He submitted his paper and walked out. He took a seat along the corridor. His head was spinning. This was supposed to be it for him. At this point, he was utterly frustrated. Just then Babila slithered to Fuh’s corner.
“Hi, take things easy my friend before you lose your mind.” Babila advised Fuh.
“I can’t afford not to make this exam.” Fuh said.
“I told you, if you drop something, I will make sure you get in. I have made my own payment already to secure a spot on the result list.” Babila said.
“I don’t know about this.” Fuh said.
“I guarantee you, with 600,000francs you are in.” Babila said with utmost certainty.
“That is ridiculous. Where will I get that money from?” Fuh said half disoriented.
Babila scribbled his phone number on a paper and handed to Fuh.
“If you change your mind, call me. You have three days to think about this.” Babila said.
That night, Fuh did not sleep a wink. He was exhausted. His mind was throbbing from all the thinking. He kept thinking of the 450,000francs his mother had given him to save for her. His illiterate mother could not run an account at the credit union, so she had entrusted her son to do so on her behalf. By morning, Fuh decided he would withdraw the money. He had also decided to borrow 50,000francs from a friend. Fuh decided that he would sum his mother’s 450,000francs, the borrowed 50,000francs, with his 100,000francs savings to come up with the 600,000francs required to secure a space in ENSET.
On the 19th August 2009, Fuh met up with Babila. Babila then took him to meet a Dr Djeug. Babila had told him Dr Djeug was the coordinator of the Mechanical Engineer department at ENSET. Fuh gladly handed the money to Dr Djeug. He believed once he got into ENSET, his mother would not mind the money he had used as he would be on a path to greater wealth. He also calculated he could easily pay back the 50,000francs he borrowed from what he earned as a computer programmer. Dr Djeug upon receiving the money, told Fuh not to worry anymore.
“Start preparing yourself for school. You are already a student here. Have no doubt about that.” Dr Djeug told him.
Fuh returned home full of content. Finally, he was going to get in. He in no way approved the method he had decided to apply, however he told himself the broken system had pushed him to do what he had to do. Necessity needs no law. The weeks that ensued were unbearable. Fuh anxiously awaited the results to the two exams he had written. He was utterly shocked he had failed the entrance exam into ENSET Douala. Fuh however consoled himself that he will bag the Bamenda exam. When the results for Bamenda came out, Fuh waited hopefully for his name. Even after all the results had been read on the radio and the station moved to commercial, Fuh sat on the sofa like a log still waiting to hear his name. There must be a mistake. He decided to call Babila.
“The number you dialed is not available at the moment please try again later.” The operator kept repeating as Fuh repeatedly dialed. Just then a breaking story came up on the radio about Major scam. A group of con artists had infiltrated various entrance examinations into professional schools in Cameroon. Some had impersonated candidates while others had impersonated Lecturers. Fuh immediately switched off the radio. He knew the end of that story.
Fuh then went into his bedroom. He got two bottles of Aspirin from his shelf. He then got some water from the kitchen. Fuh sat on the Sofa and gobbled up all the pills. Two hours later, Mama Fuh walked in to find her son’s cold body on the sofa.
“Die dey Big Compound.” Mama Fuh shouted when she discovered her son’s dead body.


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